I light a candle, defusing healing incense into the space around me, and settle with my writing. It feels like I’ve been gone forever. I’ve been busy, things needed doing. A Nile Holiday, a video course, parties to go to, friends to meet, a blog to write, tenant turnover in Ireland, and figuring out (baby steps) how to best manage my fathers’ estate in Norway.
With the big projects and jobs done, for now, I find myself back writing my book.
Hurry. – I tell myself.
Afraid I’ll forget what to write or how.
The further from the story I drift the dimmer the details grow. Especially the feelings I had, of being connected to him in ways I never felt before. Those big heartbreaking waves washing over me, just for a moment, before I realised what was happening. It wasn’t his death I was grieving while being there, in his house, on the island, reading his papers. It was memories of decades past, that broke my heart. How different it could all have been I had known ‘this’, back then.
Hurry not, – I tell myself
For this is deep work.
So, before I start writing another chapter, I light a candle and defuse healing incense over The Captains papers. And then I breathe again, deeply for a few moments, as I say thank you Dad, for all the intriguing stories and secrets you left for me to find.
Much Love and Light
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